Today I would like us to talk about sabotage, I am going to give you online dating tips on how to not destroy your chances of meeting someone and falling in love.
I know for many people myself included, we join online dating maybe out of fear of dealing with the old fashion dating. To a lot of people, online dating is a way of trying the waters by dipping your toes but not your whole body. Let me tell you a little about myself and my online dating journey and more specifically why I decided to join a dating website.
I had gone through a very bad break up that took me about 3 years to heal and to be honest I had decided I do not want to ever get involved with someone else ever again. I was so heartbroken, I could not understand how someone with whom I spend almost ten years of my life, could turn against me in such a hurtful way.
So after a couple of years, a friend of mine tried to get me into the dating scene but I was very resistant and I honestly didn’t want to get into a relationship at all. It was during this time of trying to convince my friend to leave me alone and stop introducing me to guys, that I discovered online dating. It actually came up when I was chatting with a girl on social media and she gave me a link and told me to create a profile and try it out.
The girl told me that she had met her fiance on that site and they were planning to get married. I have to be honest, when I joined, I didn’t really go in thinking that I want to find someone or get into a serious relationship. I just joined so I can tell my friend that I am now dating online, and also I just wanted to interact with people and maybe have a little online fling.
These online dating tips will be a game changer for you, start by making sure your profile is well detailed.
So I created my profile and I really didn’t put much effort into the profile and the questions they ask you to fill in, I just answered vaguely and That turned many people away from my profile, I could see that my profile was being viewed but no one was contacting me. So I was sabotaging my chances of meeting a good guy.
I have to admit I felt a sting every time I saw that people had viewed my profile and no one said hi, my feelings were hurt and I started thinking maybe all the horrible things I was told by my previous guy were true, maybe no one will ever be interested in me. That is when I panicked and decided to really give my profile a boost.
So when I decided to really give the online dating thing a chance, I edited my profile and put a lot of info about myself, my likes and dislikes, what I was looking for, etc. And I also put good quality profile photos, and on that site, there was an option of verifying your profile by scanning your ID or driver’s license I did that too.
That is when I started seeing results. So my first online dating tip for you is, take online dating seriously from the get-go, create a detailed profile, write about yourself, who you are what you like doing for fun, things you don’t like, and also be very clear as to what you are looking for.
Upload a nice clear headshot photo of yourself, use that as your main profile photo, remember to smile, don’t make it like a passport photo. Then upload more photos depending on how many the site allows, most dating sites allow up to 5 photos. No bikini photos ladies, leave some mystery, and guys no shirtless photos. If you post half-naked pictures on a dating site you will not be taken seriously.
Also posting half-naked pictures makes you appear desperate, all my 5 pictures on the dating site, I was fully dressed and I was able to meet my husband so do not act desperate.
Another way that I was sabotaging my chances was even after updating my profile, I was not talking to guys who were close to where I was because I didn’t want to meet in person so quickly.
So I would contact guys who lived very far away, and if someone contacted me and they were in my country, I won’t answer. This made me spend a long time on a dating website because as we have discussed in other articles, there is a lot of ghosting and catfishing going on it those dating sites.
Keep your options open, don’t sabotage your chances by ignoring people.
I would advise you to keep your options open, don’t sabotage your chances by only giving chances to people who are far away, you need to conquer your fear and just dive into the dating scene fully because its only fear that is making you sabotage your online dating and hindering you from finding love.
Another sabotage and I see this a lot, is the very high expectations, I use to judge people a lot especially guys who put so many requirements on their profiles, but then I realized that they are doing this to maybe make it difficult to find someone because deep down they are scared of falling in love, so you would see guys describing a supermodel when they write about the kind of woman they are looking for.
I do understand that you are attracted to a certain body type, but it’s not just body type that I am talking about, you see guys describing body parts how they should look and even measurements like it’s not enough to be slim, you also have to fit a certain mold. Don’t sabotage your chances by being too choosy, if it’s body type, just say that and give ladies a chance.
Women also do have some really unrealistic expectations too, like you want the guy to be rich, young, and attractive. The chances of finding a 30-year-old billionaire who will be taking you to France for shopping are very slim. Besides, let’s be serious here when you put such things on your profile, are you really searching for love?
I mean I am not judging, I just think, if you really are looking for those kinds of arrangements, there are many websites that are special for that and I think it’s wise to join those kinds of sites because there, it’s clear why people are there so, they will have an understanding when they meet and they can discuss things freely.
Another question one should ask one’s self, is when you put those requirements out there, what are you bringing to the table? I was talking to a young lady just recently and we got talking about my website, and she told me that she is thinking of joining a dating site to look for a rich guy who will take care of her.
I asked her OK, so let’s say you find the rich guy and he gives you all the things you are looking for, what will you give him in return? She said that he gets to enjoy her body, at that point I was thinking what a bad idea, sex is good but when used as payment for goods, then that is not a relationship, it’s business. And those kinds of arrangements don’t last long anyway and someone ends up getting heartbroken.
In my next article, I will be talking more about these women who are joining dating sites looking for rich men, I will go more into detail about the consequences of those kinds of arrangements.
If you are really looking for love, try to have reasonable requirements I promise it will help a lot.
So ladies, if you are really on a dating site searching for love and a committed relationship, try to have reasonable requirements, besides you could be passing up great guys because of small things that could be adjusted. I hope you will look deep into yourself and see if you are doing something that might be preventing you from finding love.
That being said, I am not saying that you should lower your standards, now way, just because you are over 40 does not mean that your standards when looking for a mate should be lowered, I actually think this is the time to uphold your standards because you’ve been through life long enough to know exactly what you want. I am only saying that you should make sure that you are not going overboard with your requirements.
And the same go for men too, you should make sure that you get exactly what you are looking for that way you have a good foundation for a successful relationship, just try to be realistic and be honest with yourself and with the person you are interested in, if you are really searching for a supermodel, then I hope you find her and I hope she is a good woman, and you will have a happy life together.
So I will leave it there for today, I hope you have enjoyed reading this article and I also hope that you have found it helpful, if so please leave me a comment and tell me what you think.
Thank you so much for your time
Rose
