OK, so you have met someone and they have asked you for a date, you are so excited and can’t wait, you are frantically searching for something to wear and you are not even sure if you have found the right outfit. Well, I don’t want to add to your nerves but there are other things you need to think about, Like topics to avoid on a first date what are you going to talk about? are you going to have those uncomfortable long silent moments?
I want to help you secure a second date so avoid these topics on a first date
Because I know you could get nervous on your first date, and end up sharing embarrassing facts about yourself, I want to save you from yourself 🙂 today I am going to give you an idea of what not to bring up on a first date I will give you topics to avoid on a first date things not to talk about because they could cost you a second and third date.
The first date is supposed to be calm, relaxed, and fun, so you need to stay away from serious topics that could spoil the mood, you need to stay away from politics, the first date is not for discussing Brexit, Donald Trump, North Korea, and other matters that are related to countries and governments. And you also need not discuss religious beliefs.
Just stick to fun talk like music, movies, and just other soft topics, and also the first date is not the time or the place to share your past mishaps and obscure behaviors. it’s not the time to share about when you got drunk and woke up in a strange bed with a stranger next to you 🙂
And also it’s not time to discuss, your ex who run away with your best friend the day before your anniversary, OK even if you have nothing but great things to say about your ex, it’s still not appropriate. Your date does not need to know all that information, you need to get to know each other on a basic level first before you go into the deep stuff, besides at this point you are not even sure if you like each other yet.
Topics To Avoid On A First Date It’s Not An Interview
Don’t fire question one after another, the first date is not an interview, so don’t make your date feel like they are in one, just relax and if you would like to know something start by sharing information on the same subject first that way it will not feel like you are putting your date on the spot.
For example, if you want to know how many sisters and brothers they have started by saying hey did I tell you that I have two brothers and a sister? then they will say oh yeah? no you didn’t tell me are they older or younger? then you will have a few minutes worth of talk and then you can ask how many siblings do you have?
That way of talking helps loosen up the mood and helps the both of you relax, but if you fire questions like a boss( I am getting an image of you standing over your date asking them where were you on the night Tupac was shot?) first date is not an interrogation and you are not a detective so don’t act like one 🙂 things could get tense and uncomfortable and you don’t want that.
What if you realize after a few minutes that you don’t like the person?
Well, there is no need to be nasty even if you realize that maybe the person is not what you are looking for in terms of a relationship, don’t ruin the evening( unless the person is a total jerk, in which case you can just leave) just have a meal, and general talk, and then you can either text them later and tell them it will not work out, or just call them whatever you prefer but don’t spoil the evening or make the person feel like they have done something wrong.
Put The Phone Away
don’t start taking pictures of the food and posting on your social media, that is a very immature behavior, the phone should not be anywhere to be seen when you are on a date, especially on a first date. If after the meal you find that you actually have chemistry and maybe there could be something, then you can take a picture to remind you of your first date, but constantly taking selfies in the middle of a date is not a good behavior at all and it gives a bad picture to your date.
More topics to avoid on a first date
Don’t talk about money or ask your date how much money they make, and don’t even talk about how much money you make, just stay out of money on your first date.
Talking about money no matter how you approach the subject, will not turn out well if you talk about how you are making good money and how you can afford whatever you desire, it could be interpreted as bragging. If you talk about how you are barely making the ends meet, then it could sound like you are asking for help or implying that you are looking for someone to support you financially.
Which means however way you bring up the finance subject it’s going to spoil the mood and it could actually cost you a second date.
Don’t talk about sex at all, don’t sexualize your date and don’t tell them the last time you had sex, or how you like it, the first date is not the place or the time to venture into search personal topic, and also bringing up sex on a first date could portray you as thirsty or as someone who is not confident in yourself as person and that’s why you result in using your sexuality to make yourself look and sound interesting and confident.
Also bringing up the sex subject on the first date could scare your date and rob you of a second and third date, so stay away from discussing sex, there hopefully will be time to discuss search matters.
Marriage and Children
The first date is not the time to discuss how you would love a big wedding with ten bridesmaids/Groom’s men, actually most people get scared when they hear the word marriage or wedding on a first date, discussing wedding and the number of children you would like to have, could come across as desperate and it could actually make things very awkward.
If you do have children you can share that information, without going into so much into detail, because you don’t want your date to be about your children, you are there to spend time with your date and this is yours and their moment.
It’s All About Me
constantly talking about yourself and turning everything to be about you could make things very uncomfortable and could cause your date to get bored and even stop talking to you or even listening to you, it’s not about you and you should not be the center of attention. And also interrupting the other person when they are in the middle of a sentence is just rude and inconsiderate.
Take the time to listen to your date and also contribute to the conversation without taking over, and if a conversation takes a direction that makes you uncomfortable, it’s OK to change the subject. Just be creative about it.
I know I mentioned siblings earlier, I just want to mention that first date is not the time to bring up your sibling revelry or other family drama, you need to keep your family secretes, for now, if things get serious between the two of you, you will have opportunity to bring up your family issues, like if it turns out that the person wants to meet your family.
You first date is not the time to share about your antidepressants or mood stabilizers, that could mess things up very quickly and actually your date could take a bathroom break and not come back, people are afraid of words like mood stabilizer, so better keep that information to yourself for now, there will be time to share later but not on your first date.
First dates are very exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time, when you meet someone for the first time, at first you are not sure how to go about things or what to say, it’s at those moments that you end up saying things that you late wish you never said.
So by having a list of topics not to bring up, it helps and it will save you from making a complete fool of yourself, so I hope you will find these tips helpful and I hope your first date will go smoothly.
I really would love to hear from you, what are some of the most embarrassing first dates that you have experienced? if you share yours I will share mine too in the comment section so do tell 🙂
Thank you so much for your time and for your comments