In this article I would like us to ask one question, is there a stigma in online dating? The reason I ask this question is that most people don’t want to admit that they met online. This is something I have noticed a lot and it leads me to believe that maybe people are afraid that they might be stigmatized if they admit that they met online.
And it leads me to more questions like, where will the stigma come from? I mean in this day and age where people are spending more time online than ever, why would it be weird that they meet and fall in love online. I think the answer can be found in the idea of mail order bride especially when it comes to the older generation, if you mention online dating, they tend to think that perhaps you couldn’t attract someone the old fashion way.
What is wrong with finding someone on the web?
But does it really mean the people who are doing online dating are desperate or they can’t find someone the traditional way? the answer to this is, it really depends on the person, but most people these days are actually meeting online by pure coincidence. For example people these days are even meeting on social media they become friends and then a relationship develops from there.
But lets look at those people who are purposely joining dating sites and apps, they are not necessarily joining because they are not attractive or because there is something wrong with them, they are doing so because maybe they want to widen their search or maybe they don’t have much time to socialize and meet new people.
So they find it easier to create a profile on a dating site, in the hope that they will meet someone. And I think that is perfectly fine, there is no shame in admitting that you met your loved one online, my husband and I have always been open about how we met and we have found over time couples we thought met in other ways, finally do open up to us and tell us they also met online.
I think with the Millennial generation, there is no problem admitting that they are meeting and starting relationships online but when it comes to us the older generation, we are a bit hesitant, and also we are somewhat judgmental towards couples that meet online. I also feel like there is a heavy burden put on the couple when they say they met online because they have to prove that their relationship is real.
Some couples tend to lie about how they met
So most couples opt to tell a fabricated story about how they met to avoid judgment as well as the stigma associated with online dating, so yes I do think that there is some type of stigma and more so in developing countries. The western world is more open and more accepting of online dating, I think this is because online dating has been around for many years in these countries.
But in developing countries, people are just starting to get used to social media and so when you mention meeting your partner on the internet, they think its a joke, I remember some of my family members couldn’t understand why I would even consider joining a dating site. So you can imagine their shock when I told them that I was getting married.
Actually, I remember one person trying to play matchmaker and I told them I am not interested in what they made remarks about how I should be a sweet African woman and do as I am told, I am not gonna type the colorful words I used at that point, but I will say that I made it very clear to them that I was gonna handle my business and they should handle theirs.
And to be honest with you, it’s just recently that my family accepted that I was really in a lasting marriage because they kept asking me if I was really married or it was a fake marriage( there are some of those where I come from)
There are some people in developing countries that get in a marriage especially after meeting someone online, they get into what is called a marriage of agreement, meaning the couple agrees to get married for personal gains. Let me give you a scenario, it could be that a foreigner wants to start a business in a developing country and maybe things will go smoother if they are married to a local person, so that’s how the marriage of agreement comes about.
So I guess those situations also raise the level of stigma in developing countries toward couples that meet on the internet. and of course, as I mentioned earlier in the older generation when you mention meeting someone online, it reminds them of mail-order bride or groom.
But this won’t go on for long because based on statistics, 1 in 3 marriages, the couple met online, also people are more open to exploring more possibilities when it comes to relationships including dating out of their races and in some cases even out of their religion, because the internet plays a major role of connecting people from all walks of life, and from all over the world.
My conclusion to this topic is that yes some couples do find it easier to lie about how they met if indeed they met on the internet, but there are those who are open and they are proud of the fact that the web allowed them to find each other. Personally, I think it really doesn’t matter how you met and I have mentioned this in another post.
Love is what matters
If you can build a loving peaceful life together and live a happy life, that is all that matters so go on and do whatever it takes to find that person, who is also looking for you and if it’s written in the stars, you will find one another, whether is by internet or other ways.
And don’t worry about stigma or what people will say, people, will always find something to say about any situation. besides, sometimes these fears are just in our minds and they hold us back, sometimes people are not judging us, maybe they are just curious.
I would like to thank you for taking the time to read this post and I would love to hear your thoughts, so please leave me a comment, and I will be happy to answer you.
Thank you for your time
Rose
