Today I would like to take a look at 10 signs you are not compatible with your partner. In relationships, it’s very easy to be blinded by stars, butterflies, and lust. But when it comes to wanting to be in a lasting relationship with someone, you need to see past all those butterflies and stars.
Before I go any further and start telling you what to do or not to do, let me just share my own experience, there was a time I was in a relationship with someone that I had met online, now, because of the long-distance relationship, and the challenges that come with it, I was not able to see clearly just how incompatible we were.
The Signs Were There But I Chose To Ignore Them
Every time he would visit me, there were signs that looking back now I can see they were very clear but I did not see them at that time. One of the biggest problems we had was communication. I remember an incident where we went to visit my family and, my uncle speaks very good English so I sat quietly and let them have a manly conversation.
When we went back to my place, the guy was very angry and I did not know why he was angry because as far as I was concerned I had not done anything wrong. So he ignored me the rest of the evening, and My attempts to talk to him did not bear any fruits. The following morning I told him that I will not be with someone who is not talking to me and he is not telling me what I had done wrong.
My Apology Didn’t Resolve The Issue
So this is when he decided to tell me what had upset him. He said that when we went to visit my uncle, I did not take part in the conversation they were having, and I let him be in a deep conversation with my uncle without me being involved, he did not know my uncle that well, so he said that it made him feel like I had abandoned him.
I told him that this was not my intention at all. And that in Africa when two men are having a conversation, especially in that case where it was my uncle, it’s not a good behavior for me to get involved unless I am asked something in which case I was not asked and that is why I remained silent.
So I apologized for making him feel like I had abandoned him. But that did not solve the problem, he still didn’t talk to me and it looked like the more I apologized the more he kept attacking me and telling me how it looked like I didn’t care about him. It turned out he had other problems, and the root cause of him not talking to me was not the visit to my uncle’s house.
Number One Sign You Are Not Compatible Lack Of Proper Communication
Whether you are dating or in marriage, communication is key to success. Good communication will be able to improve other areas of your relationship. Because you will be able to let the other person understand exactly what it is that you want, what you are feeling, and what you are doing, or planning to do.
The problem many couples face these days are as a result of the breakdown in communication. Once you are not able to share information freely, then you are going to have many challenges in your relationship. But what are the causes of communication breakdown? Well, there are cases where couples start out very well, but a few months or years down the line, things start going the wrong way.
If you started out as the kind of couple who could communicate easily, then you can learn to communicate again, but if you start out not being able to communicate, then the chances of that relationship working out are slim.
What If You Communicate But No Action Is Taken?
That Is one of the reasons that people stop communicating, for example, if I tell you what I like and what I don’t like but you don’t pay any attention, then I will stop telling you because to me it looks like you don’t care about my likes and dislikes. What that does is open doors for arguments. If your partner tells you that they don’t like something, then listen and rectify the situation.
And if they say they like something, especially in the bedroom, then listen and follow the instruction. I get very frustrated with people who assume that whatever their ex liked is what the current likes. There is no one fits all, every person is different which brings me to reason number two.
Signs You Are Not Compatible With Your Partner Not Being Romantically In Sync
If you are not on the same page in the romance department, then there is no way you are going to be compatible. This aspect of the relationship is very important. And it’s very crucial that you learn what each other likes and dislikes before you go very far in the relationship. There is nothing worse than being in a relationship where you are not happy and satisfied.
So, speak to each other especially if you are planning to be in a committed relationship like a marriage.
Mismanagement Of Finances
Research shows that after basic incompatibility, and infidelity, money issues are the next cause for divorce across North America. When it comes to money, you need to be able to learn how both of you manage their finances. Also, you need to be clear as to who pays for what.
There have been many cases where one partner has put the family in debt because, they mismanaged the finances or they have an addiction of some sort, whether it’s gambling, or taking high financial risks, or those who are addicted to shopping.
You need to know what kind of lifestyle your partner lives, there are people who are very strict when it comes to lifestyle choices, maybe they love to work out a lot, they are in a different way of eating than you are. When you are first starting out in a relationship, these things might seem like just minor issues, but they are actually big issues.
For example, Let’s say your partner is a vegan, and you are not, this will be a very major adjustment for you, because either you will also have to adopt the vegan lifestyle, or things could get super complicated.
If you get involved with someone who doesn’t share the same religious beliefs as you do, it causes lots of conflicts especially if you are both very dedicated and committed to your beliefs. It’s better and easier to get involved with someone who shares your belief, that way you will be on the same page.
When One Partner Is Controlling
This is a big problem, if one partner wants to control the other, in many cases, the partner who is being controlled thinks that things are going to change in time. The truth of the matter is, if that is how they are, you are not going to change them so your options are, either you accept them as they are, or you move on with your life and find someone that you will be more compatible with.
You Don’t Share Common Interests
I understand that some people think that you don’t have to like the same things in order to be in a successful relationship. But, when people are so different from each other, it can pose a challenge. For example, maybe one partner likes to travel, but the other one doesn’t. That means the traveler will be traveling alone.
And Let’s say the other partner likes dancing and other activities, but the other one likes to sit around and just relax, I think there will be problems. The best thing to do in my opinion is to find someone that you will enjoy doing things with. Even if you don’t like the same things all the way, you need to share many interests, so you can have some fun together.
Lack Of Commitment
There are some people who like dating but they have no plans to settle down. When you find yourself with this kind of person, the biggest mistake you could make is to think that you will convince them to commit to you. You need to know from the get-go if there is a chance of things moving further than just dating.
And if they tell you that they have no intention of getting married, you better believe them, you know how they say if someone shows you who they are, believe them? Well, if someone tells you they are not interested in marriage, then believe them.
You Don’t Fight Fair
In every relationship, there will be misunderstandings, because you are two different people who have been brought together by powers of cupid lol, so yes, you will fight, but if your fights are always ugly and just nasty where you end up calling each other names, then things could get really bad very quickly.
When fights occur and trust me, they will, it’s very important to remember that you still love each other even though at that particular moment you don’t necessarily like each other so much.
I Just Feel Like We Are Not Compatible
Your instincts will not lie to you, if you just don’t feel compatible then you are not. don’t doubt yourself, by trying to make a relationship work where you feel like you are not compatible, you are just wasting your time. It’s better to just end things and find someone who you are compatible with.
Life is too short so why try to make something work when you know deep down in your heart it’s not going to wok?
Would You Like To Know If You Are Compatible With Your Partner? Then Why Not Take Part In Michel Webb’s Compatibility Questioner? Answer Some Questions To See If You Are Compatible Click Here
I think, when it comes to relationships, Compatibility is very important, because if you are in a relationship with someone that you are not compatible with, then you are not going to be happy, and it’s really a matter of time until things go the wrong way and you find yourself alone again.
Well, I hope you have found my article helpful, please share your thoughts below in the comments section. do you think you are compatible with your partner? Did you take Michael’s questionnaire? what were the results? please share below.
Thank you for your time